PS We Hate You
by little toy soldiers
Summary: AU: "Dear students of the Gallagher Academy, you will each receive a pen pal from the Blackthorne Institute. Be friendly and remember, don't screw it up."-Z/M/C/P;;based off of YOSA
1. dear students

_P.S. We Hate You _

Summery: AU: "Dear students of the Gallagher Academy, you will each receive a pen pal from the Blackthorne Institute. Be friendly and remember, don't screw it up."-ZM, ZC, MP, CP;;based off of YOSA

**Chapter 1**

**Dear Daddy-dearest,**

**How's it up there in Ecuador? Or was it Haiti? I'm not sure but I hope you didn't get an infectious disease! :)**

**My school is doing some kind of pen-pal/rapist program so we can get to know those creepy, STD-ridden Blackthorne kids. Is there anyway you can stop this? Attached is a direct letter from my principal on this matter. **

**Please don't make me talk to these people.**

**Your wonderful daughter, **

**Cameron Ann Morgan**

**ATTACHMENT:**

Dear students of the Gallagher Academy,

You will each receive a pen pal from the Blackthorne Institute. Be friendly and remember, don't screw it up. We would very much like to end this feud with the nice students at that school. We would also like to enhance your letter writing skills.

-Principal Solomon

* * *

Dear Zachary Goode,

In case you haven't figured this out already, my name is Macey McHenry. I don't like you. Now you're probably wondering, "I don't even know this girl. How could she not like me already?"

Well it's simple.

I don't know you Zachary Goode, but I do know your best friend.

_Grant._

I also know your school is a school for a bunch of trailer trash assholes. You know the kind that knock up girls and move to a different country afterwards? Yeah, that's probably you.

So I have a question for you Zachary Goode, how many babies do you currently have at the moment? It's ok if you aren't completely sure, I just want to know an estimate. Because my best friend Bex, you ever heard of her? Well, she got knocked up by that lovely friend of yours.

But it's all good because he had a 'family emergency' and had to move to Peru.

I'm just kidding! :D

No, really he didn't get to the knocking up part yet; he dumped her for some blonde chick that goes to your school. What was her name? Oh yeah, Tina Walters.

Anyway, I want to know more about you. Please answer the following:

How many siblings do you have? (if the number is in double digits, you don't have to give an exact number)

How old are you? (I already know you're in the tenth grade like me, but I'm not sure how many years you were held back.)

What are your kids' names?

How many different parents do you have?

How many tattoos do you have?

I'm sure you'd like to know a little bit about me as well. Well, my father is a politician and my mother is a lawyer. Basically, she gets paid to be stubborn.

-Macey Beastly McHenry

P.S. how old might those children be?

* * *

_Dear Macey Beastly McHenry,_

_First off, is that really your middle name? Because if it is, it really concerns me that your parents would name you that as if they assume you would turn out to be all hairy and beast like._

_Are you a beast Macey? _

_Secondly, I would very much appreciate it if you did not call me by my full name all the time. Calling me Zach would be more than enough, mmkay?_

_Thirdly, I am sorry to hear about your friend Bex. Actually, I already did hear about her from Grant before. Nice ass huh? Apparently she was quite the talker and quote "bitch" unquote. So things didn't work out between them, what can I tell you?_

_Oh, and things are working out quite well for Tina and Grant, thanks for asking :)_

_How many siblings do you have? None._

_How old are you? 17. But I do know a guy who was held back 2 years if that helps._

_What are your kids' names? I currently don't have any children, sorry. _

_How many different parents do you have? Just a bitch of a mother and an alcoholic father, thanks. _

_How many tattoos do you have? Do stick-ons count? Because the butterfly on my arm looks real nice._

_Seriously, Beastly. What do you take me for? You know I'm a little hurt by these assumptions. I was hoping we could become friends or something. _

_My other good friend, Preston, got one of your friends named Cammie. Apparently she's not the nicest person to talk to. You know, you should meet my friend Preston. You two would get along real well._

_Your mom's a lawyer? Well that just works out perfectly because mines a criminal. Your mom could help get my mom's ass out of jail the next time she breaks her parole. We got a deal?_

_I should go, my dad needs me to drive him to the bar (did I mention he lost his license because he's a registered alcoholic?)_

_-Your new friend, _

_Zach _

_P.S. I was 2 when my mom was 17. That counts right? _

* * *

**A/N:** Based loosely off of The Year of Secret Assignments. But it's only going to be back and forth between Macey and Zach and Preston and Cammie. With some extra stuff now and then. And you can credit my lovely sister with the 'beastly' thing. She puts beastly in the middle of her name a lot. She's a strange one I tell ya.


	2. it starts with an f and ends with a you

**Chapter 2**

**The Blackthorne Crisis**

**From: **

**To: **

**Have you heard from your father yet? Did you tell him this was an EMERGENCY? Because I don't think your pulling you weight completely, dear Cameron. **

**My pen pal thinks he's so cool and I'm ready to shoot Principal Solomon for forcing us into this program. You hear me, Cammie? SHOOT HIM! **

**I think we should protest. We can steal all of Mr. Solomon's sharpies.**

**That'll show him.**

**-M. McHenry**

Dear Preston,

Preston is a strange name, did you know that?

Also, I am writing this to you against my own free will which does mean that I am writing this with my teacher standing right over my shoulder making sure I go through with this assignment. His name is Mr. Moskowitz and he has a mustache. It's creepy.

So, this means that I do not in anyway enjoy writing letters to you and whatever whores roam your precious school.

Mr. M said a good 'ice-breaker' would be saying what kind of extra-curricular activities I do after school to see if we have anything in common.

Since I would very much like to have something in common with you, I decided to admit to my passion of smuggling with exchange students by the dumpsters at school.

Talk to you sometime after Mr. M finds a postage stamp (he is franticly looking as I speak),

Cammie Morgan.

_Dear Cammie,_

_One word comes to mind when I think of you. It starts with an 'f' and ends with a 'you'._

_That's two words but who's counting? Certainly not you._

_With hate,_

_Preston._

**Dear diary,**

**I fell really really stupid writing in this thing and talking to 'it' (did I offend you diary?). My therapist says that in order to take out my anger I should write in a diary so I can 'let all of my feelings out'. I'm pretty sure I overheard my therapist buying drugs over the phone the other day so I really don't think he's in the place to judge. **

**But I'm writing in this thing anyway.**

**So the target of my anger this week is a boy who wears too much hair gel and smirks 24/7. His name? Zachary Goode. **

**He likes to hang out at my school everyday so he can find some naive girl, get her drunk and then hook up with her. Apparently I'm his new victim since I'm such a "challenge". **

**He's, in a word, a slut. **

**My conversation with him today goes as follows:**

**Zach: I'm liking the shorts, Morgan.**

**Me: Fuck you.**

**Zach: Right here and now? Well alright.**

**And then I pushed him into a lake and walked away. Or that's how I imagined how it went at least. Apparently he is pen pals with Macey. He already told her his 'My mom is a bitch and my father is an alcoholic speech'. He thinks it gives him an air of mystery or something. **

**Sigh. Sometimes I want to strangle that whore. **

**My pen pal doesn't seem to have a personality. Or maybe he thinks this program is as pointless as I do. We have something in common. My therapist says that can be a relationship builder. **

**Peace out? **

**C. Morgan**

**a/n: **yeah Cammie's rather psychotic. And this was rather short. I'm just getting the relationships building.

Oh and (I feel like I should start writing a warning at the end of all my stories. Sigh.) this story is not all about ZC but they still get, um, interaction of some sorts. And it's not all about zacey (you can breathe now I'm not gonna start shoving them down your throats.) But I thought they would be better to pair up for pen pals since they've both got, uh, spunkiness

I'm done rambling now. Review mmkay?


	3. drugs and other implications

Dear Zachary Goode,

First of all, I do what I want. If I feel like calling you by your full name I will do so. Ok? I don't tolerate people who think they can control me. What little respect I had for you before is slowing dwindling. If I were you, Zachary, I would try to get on my good side- fast.

And another thing, dear boy are you _mocking _me? Do I amuse you? Do you think everything I have said in the previous letter is a _joke_?

Sometimes, Zachary, even I can get a little offended.

Seriously.

Anyway, I'll try to move on from this and get on with Mr. M's 'assignment' for this particular letter.

(really, it's just an excuse for him to abandon us and play _Castles and Warriors _on his computer.)

I'm supposed to talk to you about a current issue in society today and get your opinion. I decided to talk to you about drugs today. Mr. M says that's not exactly appropriate for a school related assignment but then he accidently let a dragon eat one of his warriors so he approved it instead.

As you may know (and might be involved with), drugs are being used by teens all over the country, illegally of course.

As a possible drug user, why do teens (you) do drugs? Do you think it makes them (you) look cool? Is it a form of rebellion? What do you think Zachary?

Sincerely,

Macey McHenry

* * *

_Hey Macey,_

_I didn't mean to offend you, I apologize. And when I say that I really truly mean it, you are probably a beautiful girl and nicer than I realize._

_Moving on, you act like you know me, Mace. It offends me too, ya know? I do not do drugs or alcohol, I didn't knock any chicks up, and I'm not like in a gang or anything._

_Maybe I have gotten a parking ticket- once- but it was just under a complete misunderstanding, I swear. Other than that, I am completely clean. _

_Ok, so maybe I have gotten drunk off of scotch with some friends once or twice. And maybe I hook up with girls more often than I should, but so what?_

_Nobody is perfect, Mace. Nobody except you._

_With much ado,_

_Zachary Goode_

_

* * *

_

**a/n: **these are clearly going to be extremely short chapters.


	4. game on

**Dear Diary (I would say 'Dear Bitch-book but my therapist will eventually read this….oh hey, Dr. Townsend!)**

**Dr. Townsend says that for today's entry I should discuss the past 'men' (if you can even call them that) in my life. He says that a lot of my anger could possibly come from the egotistical assholes the are in or were in my life. Well, for today I'll just list five.**

**-Grant **

**-My father **

**-Joe Solomon (because I do enjoy calling him by his first name)**

**-Edward Townsend (hey, Eddie!)**

**-Zach Goode**

**I could add Preston Winters on there but he hasn't really done anything to bother me…yet. So, oh questionable diary, you might ask, why are these men on this list?**

**Well, Grant is a living example of why I have a passionate hate for men in general. He's a whore, he's a slob, and he cheated on my best friend. So I came at him with a bat two weeks ago in a mad rampage and than got suspended for a week. Not even kidding. Secretly he can be a real wuss.**

**My father himself is an jerk. I'll spare you the 'oh he's never home' or all that jazz. But right now he's #2 on my hit list because he hasn't done anything about that stupid Blackthorne exchange. Sigh.**

**Dearest Joe is just a guy in a clip on tie who thinks he's badass because he's a principal. I think that pretty much speaks for itself.**

**Dr. Townsend is on here because, well, I'm writing in a diary right now aren't I?**

**Zach Goode- see previous entry.**

**And that's it for today. Did I do good Eddie? (I hope you don't mind me calling you that.)**

* * *

Dear Preston,

Honey, just wait until you meet me.

-Cammie Morgan.

* * *

_Cammie,_

_Game on._

_-Preston_

* * *

**a/n: blahh lack of inspiration. I wrote a prologue/first chapter or whatever to a new story fyi. I'll post it later on when I feel like it. **


End file.
